QuaranTunes! Prescription 2-hour dose of shots of Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, and Hair Bands from the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, 20-teens, and today on the Hard, Heavy & Hair Show. Join host Pariah Burke–at a safe social distance–this week on the Hard, Heavy & Hair Show for music guaranteed to rock your COVID-19 quarantine! It’s the Hard, Heavy & Hair QuaranTunes show, disinfected for your protection.
As Pariah discussed on the show, Boober Eats!
Own the hits and deep cuts you hear on Hard, Heavy & Hair! Click the iTunes/Apple Music or Amazon Digital Music icons to the left of each song.
Cover Song of the Week
Beds and Background Music
Did I hear…? Probably. These are the beds and background music you heard on this week’s Hard, Heavy & Hair Show. Click the iTunes/Apple Music or Amazon Digital Music icons to the left of each song to hear it in its entirety.
Transcript of the Show
Welcome to the quarantine! To stay healthy and sane, Metal Health is what we all need.
Quiet Riot – Metal Health
That was Quiet Riot with “Metal Health,” it’s what you oughta have, so I’m injecting it straight into your ears.
This is the quarantine episode of the Hard, Heavy & Hair Show, broadcasting from a socially distant location in Portland, Oregon to FM, AM, and Internet radio stations all around planet COVID-19.
I’m helping you rock the hell out of this quarantine ’cause we got a “Rock n’ Roll Disease” and an urge to vaccinate with Warrior Soul!
Warrior Soul – Rock n’ Roll Disease
Warrior Soul, a band Kory Clarke started back in 1987 on a bet.
Coming up is killer tunes from Godsmack, Poison, Twisted Sister, Ted Nugent, Pantera, Disturbed, Lillian Axe, Van Halen, Beartooh, Stone Sour, and so much more.
But before I play the next song I want to address the elephant… Well, not the elephant in the room so much as the elephant a responsible 6 feet away. This is the only time during tonight’s show I’m going to say anything remotely serious.
I’m going to help you have fun with the quarantine by playing some kickass Hard Rock, Metal, and Hair. That doesn’t mean I’m making light of the very real, very frightening Coronavirus situation. COVID-19, the fact that it’s making people sick and killing them, the impact the virus and the quarantine are having on all our lives, the impact all of this will have on the world’s economies for years to come… None of that’s funny. It’s quite the opposite. And we’re all pretty f’n scared.
We WILL get through this. The world, our way of life, our families and friends, and we, ourselves, WILL survive this terrible situation. We need to be responsible. We need to be kind to one another. And we need to be kind to ourselves. Turn off the news. Step away from social media. And give yourself a break from the constant and often conflicting updates, from the anxiety-inducing COVID-19 news that is only like 25% about informing us and 75% about scaring us to keep us watching commercials.
For the next almost two hours, take a break from the reality of the Coronavirus and have some fun with the quarantine. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to play for you the hardest rock, most Metal Metal, and hairiest of Hair Bands with some truly great quarantunes for banging your head, stomping your foot, and thrusting your fist to the sky–or your ceiling!
And that is all I’m going to say about the darker side of the world’s current condition. The rest of the show is nothing but great music and apocalyptic fun!
Starting with this next track by In This Moment, “Sick Like Me.”
In This Moment – Sick Like Me
More quarantunes next!
This is the Hard, Heavy & Hair Show hospital providing your quarantunes. I’m your nurse Pariah Burke, administering your two-hour dose of Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, and Hair Bands from the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, 20-teens, and today.
With me around, you don’t need no doctor! This is WASP covering Ray Charles.
W.A.S.P. – I Don’t Need No Doctor
Queensryche – Spreading the Disease
A deep cut there from Queensryche’s seminal Rock Opera, Operation: Mindcrime. That song was “Spreading the Disease.”
Later in the show I’ve got a rare old Guns N’ Roses ditty for you that has NEVER been played on the radio anywhere on earth before. For right now, I think we’ll take a break from the 80s and check in with some of the newer generation of metallers. This is Hands Like Houses following Beartooth rocking our quarantine!
Beartooth – Threat to Society
Hands Like Houses – Sick
“Sick” from Hands Like Houses following–at a socially responsible distance of 6 seconds–Beartooh’s “Threat to Society.”
Let’s take a quick break to all wash our hands.
Welcome back to the Hard, Heavy & Hair Quarantine show! I’m your hard talking, heavy drinking, hairball of a horny host and Heavy Metal triage nurse. I’m evaluating your condition right now, and I prescribe 6 minutes of Metallica during which I’ll leave you be, when I’ll just leave you alone. From Master of Puppets, it’s “Welcome Home (Sanitarium).”
Metallica – Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
Van Halen (David Lee Roth) – Somebody Get Me a Doctor
Bon Jovi – Bad Medicine
A triple-shot of quarantunes there. First was Metallica, then Van Halen called out “Somebody Get Me a Doctor.” Doctor Bon Jovi answered Van Halen’s call with some “Bad Medicine.”
We may all be sheltering in place and practicing social distancing, but that’s no reason not to sleuth your way through the Cover Song of the Week mystery. Get your thinking face masks on, this is your first clue.
The Cover Song of the Week is a solo cover by one of the greatest living Hard Rock and Blues Rock guitar players of the last 40 years. He started out playing in the official house band of San Diego teen night club StraitaHead Sound. Then joined up with a little talent farm band called Mickey Ratt. He left Ratt for Rough Cutt, and was then recruited by Ronnie James Dio into the founding lineup for the band Dio. Following the first Dio album, creative differences inspired this guitarist to leave Dio, where he was snatched up by another former Black Sabbath singer, Ozzy Osbourne. That gig lasted five years until the guitarist was fired over the telephone by Sharon Osbourne after just having had dinner with her.
Then, this great guitarist who is doing the Cover Song of the Week, decided to form his own band. That group only lasted two albums–released in 1989 and 1991–but is still considered by most Rock fans and especially by most Rock guitarists as one of the greatest should-have-been-huge bands of all time.
Throughout the mid- and late-90s he kept a relatively low profile, appearing here and there on different groups’ records and tours, but came back big in 2013 with another guitar-centric Hard Blues Rock band that, despite a disastrous debut performance in L.A., recovered quickly and is still wowing people today.
Who was that guitarist? He’s the one doing the Cover Song of the Week on a 2008 release from Cleopatra Records.
Remember: The first Cover Song of the Week clue is always the hardest. More and easier clues are coming up by prescription later in the show.
This is Puddle of Mud, “Diseased Almost”.
Puddle of Mudd – Diseased Almost
I’d tell you not to go away, but we’re all sheltering in place. You CAN’T go anywhere, so I’ll be right back with more great quarantunes after this brief pause for station identification.
Welcome back to the Hard, Heavy & Hair Show and me making your quarantine ROCK!
Crank this next track ALLLL the way up. Don’t worry about disturbing your neighbors, because the police aren’t responding to trivial calls like noise complaints or disturbing the peace.
Come on, get down with the sickness!
Disturbed – Down With The Sickness
Stone Sour – When the Fever Broke
Stone Sour “When the Fever Broke” following Disturbed “Down with the Sickness.”
Ready for another Cover Song of the Week clue?
Let’s talk about the Cover Song of the Week itself. A guitarist’s anthem in the spirit of “Jukebox Hero” and “Summer of ’69,” the chorus goes like this:
I jammed everyday
I jammed every night
I practiced till I knew all the licks
Now I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown
I don’t know the meaning of quit
What song is that? The next clue will be about the original artist–another guitar legend known for, among many things, incorporating a Gibson Byrdland into his Hard Rock music.
This is Kix followed by Twisted Sister.
Kix – Scarlet Fever
Twisted Sister – S.M.F.
“SMF” from Twisted Sister following Kix “Scarlet Fever” from 1985’s Midnight Dynamite album. That album also features a song co-written by Kip Winger, but “Scarlet Fever” wasn’t that track.
More quarantunes next! Don’t go anyway–except to the bathroom to wash you hands again.
This is Hard, Heavy & Hair, I’m Pariah Burke, and we’re having fun with the quarantine. Let’s get a little weird with Weird Al Yankovic and his parody of the Nine Inch Nails song “Terrible Lie.” This is “Germs.”
‘Weird Al’ Yankovic – Germs
King Voodoo – Fever
Flyleaf – I’m So Sick
Flyleaf, “I’m So Sick.” Before that was “Fever” from King Voodoo. More quarantunes–including that never before aired Guns N’ Roses track–right after this.
I’m your nurse Pariah Burke, administering your two-hour dose of Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, and Hair Bands from the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, 20-teens, and today. It’s time for your shot of Led Zeppelin, so bend over and grab the exam table.
From 1975’s Physical Graffiti LP, this is “Sick Again.”
Led Zeppelin – Sick Again
One of the hardest things for me to cope with during this period of social isolation is the closing of restaurants and bars. I eat out 4-6 days a week, and I go to restaurants about the same amount. What’s REALLY killing me is the strip clubs being closed.
Fortunately, strippers now come to my door. You may have heard about this and wondered if it was real. It is. Boober Eats–yes, I said Boober Eats–is very real. Portland’s Lucky Devil Lounge strip club has a full kitchen and pretty good food, so we Portlanders can order food for delivery to be delivered by topless dancers in pasties and booty shorts. They come to the door, pass over the food, retreat to a socially responsible distance, and then do a sexy little dance. Man, I love living in Portland.
But of course, like Poison sings, in the time of Coronavirus, you can look, but you can’t touch.
Poison – Look but You Can’t Touch
This next song has never before been played on the radio anywhere. It’s only 54 seconds long and was recorded by Guns N’ Roses during the 1986 Sound City sessions. It’s a little gem from the Appetite for Destruction: Locked n’ Loaded Edition. This is “The Plague” followed by Godsmack.
Guns N’ Roses – The Plague (1986 Sound City session)
Godsmack – I Stand Alone
For your third and final clue, let’s talk about the solo artist who originally wrote and released the Cover Song of the Week.
He is an incredible guitar player and songwriter, and a pretty damn good vocalist, too. Ever since the 70s, he’s been known for energetic, exciting live performances, and it earned him nickname–the Motor City Madman. It’s a nickname that’s been applied–with reverence AND derision–to this artist even more often in recent decades because of how outspoken he is about his political views.
Who is the Motor City Madman? What guitar anthem song of his is the Cover Song of the Week? And what other living legend Rock guitarist is covering it? Find out next in the Cover Song of the Week. Don’t keel over in the meantime.
Did you figure out the Cover Song of the Week? It’s one legendary guitarist and solo artist covering another.
The original artist is the Motor City Madman, none other than Ted Nugent. Who better to pen a guitarist’s anthem with lines like “I got my guitar when I was ten years old / Found a love in rock an’ roll”? And then, who better than Jake E. Lee to cover it?
In this time of pandemic and quarantine, this week’s Hard, Heavy & Hair Cover Song of the Week is “Just What the Doctor Ordered”–first by Jake E. Lee and then the original by Uncle Ted Nugent.
Jake E. Lee – Just What the Doctor Ordered
Ted Nugent – Just What the Doctor Ordered
“Just What the Doctor Ordered”–which is also the title of the song–the Cover Song of the Week. You just heard the 1975 original by Ted Nugent following the 2008 cover by a solo Jake E. Lee.
Here’s another cover of a Ted Nugent classic, this time by Pantera, laid up as we all are with a lifelong ailment of “Cat Scratch Fever.”
Pantera – Cat Scratch Fever
“Cat Scratch Fever” as covered in ’99 by Pantera for the Detroit Rock City motion picture soundtrack. If you’ve got cat scratch fever, I hope you’re practicing safe sex instead of contributing to the COVID Generation baby boom that will happen in 9 months.
Sex is good for the immune system–seriously, no b.s. Just be responsible. No kid wants to hear about how they were conceived out of boredom by two quarantined neighbors wearing paper masks and rubber gloves instead of a Trojan rubber.
And, if you’re all alone and can’t share your love with someone else, remember to love yourself–often, ’cause that helps build your immune system, too.
[clip – I Touch Myself]
Unlike the pandemic itself, the show is almost over. I hope you’ve enjoyed all the quarantunes I’ve played for you. If you did, then will you do me a favor? Please share the show–not in person, of course. Share a link to PariahRocks.com, that’s P-A-R-I-A-H-R-O-C-K-S-dot com, to your socially distancing friends and family so they, too, can enjoy the killer Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, and Hair Band quarantunes on this week’s show and rock out their social distancing. I promise: the website and replay of this show is 100% Coronavirus free. My interns wipe down the website with Lysol and Caviwipes every hour.
Besides, every 10th share gets a free roll of toilet paper.
My name is Pariah Burke, I’m your hard talking, heavy drinking, hairball of a horny host and producer. For the last two hours, I’ve been your voice of the quarantine. Thank you for isolating with me for this week’s Hard, Heavy & Hair Show.
Unless COVID-19 takes me out before then, I’ll see you back here on this station next week for another all new Hard, Heavy & Hair Show. Javelin is going to play us out with one last quarantune. This is “Birth of a Plague.”
Javelin – Birth of a plague